Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Attraction

Am I the only one who suffers the wrath of his wife at "that time of the month" for being homosexual? It happened the other day again. She goes on how important it is for me to desire her sexually and to make love to her and make her feel like a women etc. etc. And how she doesn't get enough of this from me. I like to think I am doing a pretty good job considering the situation. When she is done, I am lost for words. We have been over this so many times. What in the heck does she want me to say? I can only be truthful with her. Usually, in about a week it is over. But that only gives me three weeks until the next time.

7 comments:

Beck said...

Man, can I relate with this!

The cycle of intimacy (or lack thereof) is the story of my life. And being able to give enough or pay enough attention to her needs is a constant challenge.

All things considered, I'm sure you're doing very well, but "that time of the month" is always going to be there, my friend. And being a gay guy with a wife who has "needs", too, isn't going away.

When you figure it out, let me know...

bravone said...

Wow! Any man can relate to "that time of the month." Nothing I say makes a difference. A hug and "I'm sorry" seem to help.

Forester said...

This is why I haven't told my wife I struggle with SGA. Women need continual reassurance of our love and devotion to them without having this incredible doubt hanging over them.

If I were you, I would just continue to tell her that you are devoted to her and your relationship.

I must admit however, that although she doensn't know I struggle, we too have this problem. Maybe if she knew why we have this problem it would help - but your post seems to indicate otherwise.

Scott said...

Maybe if she knew why we have this problem it would help - but your post seems to indicate otherwise.

Forester, I realize that every situation is different, but I can tell you that in my case it has helped immensely. It used to be that when our intimacy ebbed her self esteem suffered and we both felt horrible. Now she understands the underlying reasons and is able to accept things as they are much more easily.

... which isn't to say that she's always perfectly content with our love life (or that "that time of the month" is peaches and cream) but she knows that when we're at a low point in the intimacy cycle it isn't her fault. And so far she hasn't pointed fingers at me either, but has accepted our relationship for what it is (and me for who I am).

I'm a major advocate of openness and complete honesty, but only you can decide what will be best for your relationship with your wife.

Z i n j said...

In hindsight what advice do you give to us closeted SSA kids that want to stay in the church and have a family in our future? Its sounding scary.

Bror said...

Zinj: I have been thinking about your question for a few days now. Answer coming soon. :)

Mike said...
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