Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas Everyone and A Happy New Year!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

It's Official

Well, my son told me today he is in a relationship. He said he has a boyfriend. I must be honest and say I had a feeling his new friend was more than just a friend. It's funny how I felt when he finally told me.  I have been crying about it quite a bit today. The tears are mainly for what lies ahead for him. I pray he makes good choices and finds what he needs in this life. I did tell him I love him very much and will always be his Dad no matter what life brings.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Tell me.................

Tell me is it right that I want to spend time with my friend who is messing with my inner feelings. Is it right that I go on long day trips and enjoy the awesome outdoors with him. Is it right I have him over for dinner with my family. Is it right that I think of him often through the day. Is it right that I repair things for him. Is it right that that I even have these feelings inside of me. Is it right that I cannot make them go away. Is it right that maybe I don't want them to go away. Is it right to try and live in both worlds. Is it right the pain I cause those close to me because of who I am. Is it right............

Friday, July 2, 2010

Kyle called.......

My wife said that Kyle called and wanted me to fix some things around the house.Things like the outside water faucet, the lawn mower, the back door, etc. I have been bad about getting things fixed around the house. I am trying to do better.
She says I would do anything for Kyle. She caught me off guard.  I do like him a lot and I am guilty of doing a lot of things for him. He is only here for a short time.  I just like to use my connections to help his stay here be the best possible. I have a crush on him.
She says you love him don't you.  Yes, I do. There are things I do love about him. I love the way he makes me feel when in his presence. I love his Christlike nature. I love his desire to do good and make our town a better place to live. I love how he takes care of the poor and the needy. The kids  love him so much. I see it when he is spending time with them. They hug and love him so. I love his smile. It is contagious. I love going hiking with him. He wants to see as much of Utah before he leaves. I want to help him do that.
My wife asks were does she fit in the picture? She says she does not have what I need. She cries and asks if I want to leave and discover my other needs. It breaks my heart she feels this way.  I do love her with all my heart, mind and soul. I don't want to leave.  I just have this other need that is never going away, I can't suppress it anymore. I need my Moho and guy friends.
I am all scrambled up inside. I don't know how to unscramble things. I want to but I can't. Sometimes when I think about it I cry.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Summer

Summer is here and all that comes with it. The heat, sun, and long days that make me want to get out and run. I have a goal to go hiking at least once of week. So far I have been twice. It's fun and it's great being in the great outdoors. And don't forget all that exposed man flesh for the viewing! Ah summer, you gotta love it.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Moho Lunch

I had the chance to have a Moho lunch with Scott the other day. It was fun to meet in person and just bs about life. It does the soul good. It was nice Scott took the time out of a busy day to spend time with me. Now I just need to meet Sarah and the kids. Good times. :)

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Mission

My oldest son has decided to go on a mission. Why am I not totally thrilled about it. If I were a total Peter Priesthood, I would be happy as hell. I know me being a homo has a lot to do with it. I am not temple worthy at the moment because I don't pay my tithing and I have been inactive for quite a while.  And to be honest deep down inside I don't feel like doing anything to become temple worthy. Because of this, my bishop won't even let me baptize my youngest son. He is almost 9 years old. I guess I will have my oldest son baptize him to save him from having to take the missionary lessons. My wife says I am anti Mormon. I really don't feel like this is the case. I am just a Mormon who also happens to be a homo. Where does a guy like me fit in the big family plan? The way I feel inside doesn't jive with the church.  I hate it sometimes. I want to do what is right but I really don't know what that is at the moment. What seems right for me and what seems right for the family are two totally different things. Ah the life of a married Moho. :) I better start on that pinewood derby car that is due to race on Monday.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Boss

I hate my boss today. I just thought I would share this with everyone.

Monday, March 29, 2010

At the gateway :) where are all my Moho Friends?

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Las Vegas

I am headed to Las Vegas to chill and have some fun. I love to hang on the strip and watch people the most. So if you see me there be sure to say hi.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Crush

I remember my first major crush. It happened while working at a summer resort. He was a city boy and I was a country boy. I never told him that I thought he was god's gift for the summer. I just tried to hang with him as much as possible before he left at the summer's end. But, he loved the girls and they loved him. If this weren't so who knows what may have happened. It was a fun summer.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Why?

Why does my bishop believe people choose to be gay. I really don't understand this one at all. He should believe differently as he has gay members in his family. I don't ever remember choosing to be gay. It's like saying we all choose at some time in our life if we are either homosexual or heterosexual. I don't remember any day like that in my life ever. I have always known.